Write...

I need to come here more often and journal. It's a cheap, therapeutic way to deal with things that I tend to stuff.

It seems most DAYS, I don't have much trouble eating intuitively anymore. I'm able to really listen to my body, even choosing something different than what others are eating. I'm not perfect by any means, I still snack after my afternoon siesta (don't you LOVE that word??), but I am able to choose something I really want and enjoy it. I've let go of guilt.

However, evenings continue to be my battle ground.

About 1/3 of the time I can listen to my body, the other 2/3 it gets stuffed down. The good news is, this is still better than before IE. I also refuse to beat myself up.I have been able to be kind to myself. That's new and that's huge.

However....

I wish that this self right here, this morning self, was able to talk frankly with my evening self. I would tell that evening self how horrible it feels physically each morning to wake up with tummy pain. How exhausting it is to have a restless night of sleep because my tummy is so full that I can't stay asleep. How much better I feel when I wake up with an empty tummy, after having had a restful night of sleep.

Hey evening self, it's OK to feel tired in the evening. Take a tiny nap. Have a can of pop. Find a craft you want to accomplish. Sew those curtains. Paint or draw something. Work on curriculum the next day. I know you think TV is boring. I know you are tired and want to "chill" but can't figure it quite out how to do it without food.

Please hang in there evening self. Please be gentle physically on your body. Work on making evening a time for you to putz around and enjoy some time to DO the things you are craving.

Create.

Don't destroy.

God has given you this marvelous, amazing life. This wonderful need to "tuck" your family in close. Use it. Develop it.

Allow that inner child to come out and go a little wild.

You can do this. Morning self is rooting for you!